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Missing Persons Report

Today marks the one year anniversary of Mary Worth’s disappearance from the Washington Post. If you have seen Ms. Worth, please contact the Washington Post comics department or the Mary Worth Anti-Cancellation Committee at once. Mary Worth is described as a meddling old biddy, age mid-70s, between 5’0 and 5’4. Her favored activities include meddling, advice-giving, adopting other people’s pets, trips to Vietnam, sending other people on trips to Vietnam, and causing Captain Kangaroo look-alikes to drive off a cliff.

If you have any information as to her whereabouts, please call the tip line at 1-800-MEDDLER.

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