Because you can't find it anywhere else

Category: Entertainment

Help Me Obscure Porn, You're My Only Hope

Here at Obscure Porn, we have striven to put out high quality content from day 1. However, after 13 years in the business, it’s pretty clear that this comedy thing isn’t really working out for us. Like Luke before he trains with Yoda, we just don’t have what it takes (especially since Ben Strauss went over to the dark side and started writing exclusively for the Cornell Psychopath). That is why I’m please to announce that Obscure Porn will be shifting its focus to Star Wars news and lore, effective immediately. We’ll be your one stop shop for everything happening a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, from what’s hot in Hoth to the latest decisions from the Jedi Council.

When it comes to Star Wars, this is the site you’re looking for.

edit: Drew, you aren’t welcome here.

Jingle All The Way Drinking Game

Just in time for the holidays.

Picture 1

Drink every time:

-Someone says “Jamie”.

-Arnold’s neighbor hits on someone.

-Someone is unhurt after some kind of physical trauma that would obviously kill them.

-Arnold says one of the following:

• “No it is not true”

• “Who told you you could eat my cookies?”

• “I’m not a pervert!”

Drink twice every time Arnold makes that stupid wide-eyed expression (see above).

*Super bonus extra rule: Drink every time you see a Santa hat.

The Jingle All The Way drinking game:  Fun for the whole family!

Movie Review: Lakeview Terrace

Lakeview Terrace is a chilling tale about the dangers of suburban life. Samuel L. Jackson plays Abel “Jordan” Turner, a single father struggling to raise two children in a world of moral corruption and bad grammar. When a newly married couple moves in next door to his house on Lakeview Circle, AJT doesn’t think much of it. But it’s not long before Tariq’s new neighbors are asking him to turn off his security lights (his only defense against the dangerous lowlifes that prowl Lakeview at night), parking illegally, having sex in front of his kids, entering his house, and generally threatening his safety, family, and way of life. As a police officer, Abdullah-Jamal begins to sense the danger posed by his new neighbors and their criminal lifestyle, but it may be too late for him to stop them from taking, WHAT EVER they want.

With its gripping cinematic style, crisp dialogue, and flawless acting, Lakeview Terrace paints a terrifying picture of a worst-case scenario of neighborhood relations. It seems there are several lessons to be learned from this film and its portrayal of Elijah’s ordeal:
– You can never trust your neighbors, no matter how young and vibrant they seem to be.
– Sometimes, when dealing with truly twisted minds, even being stubborn and annoying can’t save you.
– Only you can prevent forest fires.
– I’m the police; you have to do what I say.