Category: Things That Are Awesome
The best song of 2009 so far.
Wale ft. Lady GaGa – Chillin’
Hello again, Obscure Voyeurs:
I’m sure you’re all aware of the rumors that, due to our massive amounts of accidental traffic, XXXBoneage.com has made an offer for our website. While we have always prided ourselves on being a pinnacle of journalistic integrity, sometimes you need to know when to give up and accept a massive buyout. Because it really is massive. We’re talking government bailout massive. We’ll be swimming in money while you, our dedicated fanbase, is left out in the cold.
You may be thinking to yourself, “No! What will I do without the comedic stylings of such geniuses as Ben Strauss? Where can I find more of the enigmatic dtcb?” Luckily for you, as part of our buyout, we have also sold Strauss and dtcb to XXXBoneage.com. You’ll still be able to find a new feature from each of them every Wednesday night.
It’s been a wonderful ride, and I wish you all luck in the future.
because i don’t trust you to do anything correctly yourselves, i am telling you about this movie that will be awesome when it comes out:
based on this short film:
The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar and MSN Encarta (?!) urge you to march forth on March fourth to promote good grammar!
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Simpson, If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened, The Happening, The Grudge, The Grudge 2, The Ring Two, one ring to rule them all, Clerks II, Jeff Anderson, Morten Andersen, Morton Salt, Chad Morton, Mort Weisinger, Gene Weingarten, genetic engineering, General Motors, Toyota, NASCAR, John Nash, Steve Nash, Steven Spielberg, E.T., IT, It, Stephen King, Burger King, The King, Elvis, The L Word, the kramer, non-dairy creamer, coffee, Cathy, chocolate, AAACK, Tina Fey, The Golden Globes, the golden ticket, might as well kick it, foam ear apparel, foam #1 hands with pointing fingers, the shocker, Electro, electrolytes, Gatorade, G, Georgia, Jordan Turner, Will Turner, Will Smith, Smith & Wesson, Colt .45, Denny Colt, Denny’s, Wendy’s, Dave Thomas, old-fayshioned hamburger, the bidness, bizness, .biz, .tv, .org, .muffin, talking muffin, blueberry muffin, raspberry muffin, banana nut muffin, banana-nut-bread-maker, rye bread, Riley Freeman, Morgan Freeman, Bruce Wayne, Dominic Swain, Dominique Swain, Dominique Dawes, Takoma Park Middle School, Middle English, Old English, English muffin, .egg, egg on my face, ice on my face, the ice age, Steve Buscemi, Fargo, forego, hunger strike, strike zone, in the zone, ESPN Zone, residential zoning, Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Extinction, endangered species, Dangerous Elevators, Dirty Carts, Dirty Jobs, Discovery Channel, Shark Week, Sherman’s Lagoon, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, A Blaffair to Rememblack, Who Dat Ninja, Ninja Gaiden, Ask a Ninja, Ask Amy, Amy Thomas, turtle, don’t eat rocks, hard candy, Jolly Rancher, The Lone Ranger, Justice Guy, Justices League, Supreme Court Justice, Supreme Court Justice keg pa
rty, party at Ben’s house, Cupid Shovel, Valentine’s Day, My Bloody Valentine 3D, Spy Kids 3-D, Sin City, The Spirit, Eva Mendes, Hitch, bitch, 5 Second Films, Lance Bass, Lance Armstrong, Neil Armstrong, Arm & Hammer, hammerhead shark, tiger shark, Tiger Woods, Arnold Palmer, Mucho Mango, muchas gracias, Salma Hayek, Selma Alabama, Martin Luther King Jr., Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Joe the Plumber, Sarah Palin, Sarah Plain and Tall, plain M&M’s, airplane, spaceship, space elevator, dangerous space elevators, Mars, Mars Bar, My Favorite Martian, Curtis “My Favorite” Martin, that rap junk, junkyard, prison yard, Prison Break, breakdance, Just Dance, dance party, Republican Party, John McCain, Arizona, Original Brand AriZona Sun-Brewed Ice Tea with Lemon Flavor, sun-dried tomatoes, Tomatometer, tomato sauce, burnsauce, Burn Notice, eviction notice, landlord, manor, mansion, MANswers, termites, porch, Porsche, Saab, cry, Cry Wolf, Nick Wolf, St. Nick, St. Petersburg Florida, Gaithersburg, Maryland, Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Manson, Hansen, Han Solo, guitar solo, Guitar Hero, Welcome Back Qatar, American Dad!, father of the year, Father of the Bride, Bride of Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein, Young Republicans, Michael Steele, Man of Steel, Terry Labonte, Montoni’s, Tony Soprano, Tony the Tiger, Frosted Flakes, Sugar Smacks, Honeycomb, comb over, bald, bold, italic, Italy, Greece, John Travolta, Samuel L. 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holy christ this thing looks amazing (link)
…Is forthcoming. After a day of wingin’ it, so to speak, the traditional surprisingly incisive yet impossibly humorous review shall be found on this site.
Potential WingFesters are asked to submit a three page written essay detailing how wings have acted as a force to effect change–social, political, and otherwise–in America, and what can be done to maximize their impact as a revolutionary force.
Or just, like…let me know prior to/during winter break. Give me a call or email or send me a fax or whatever. That would work too. Actually, scratch that thing about the essay, it’s a BS prompt and only a douche would want to read three pages about wings. Unless, you know, it’s a WingFest article.
because THIS BEAR IS AWESOME
ok it’s not that amazing, but I really love the headline