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Movie Review: Harsh Times

Harsh Times is a thrilling tale of two young men driving around Los Angeles.  Garfield creator Jim Davis plays the part of Batman, a young Army veteran who is hired by J. Jonah Jameson to take pictures of Spider-Man.  However, he and his best friend decide to skip out on work to dick around all day drinking and getting high.  In fact, it’s just like high school, in that respect.  Anyway, even though they are driving around all day, they can’t seem to find Spider-Man, and so Batman is forced to use his Bat-Photoshop to make some fake ones.  However, Batman/Garfield’s days of living the good life seem numbered, as Batman seems destined to learn the hard way that even not having any super powers can’t stop you from being shot.

But more important than the eventual fate of Harsh Times‘s characters is its message about poverty in the modern world.  You see, there are some Harsh Times in Namibia right now.  According to the United Nations, over 57% of households there do not even have access to usable toilets.  And the birth mortality rate is really high, or something.  Do you know how hard it is to have a baby?  It’s like pushing something the size of a football through something the size of a drinking straw.  Have you ever had a baby?  I didn’t think so.  Anyway, global warming is drying up all their water, and its only a matter of time before Greene Planet comes and tries to take over their country.  And they don’t even have Jack Bauer to save the children!  Anyway, Batman’s impassioned performance really helps to drive home the point about the plight of the Namibians, and overall the movie earns a 4 star rating, out of 7 and a half.

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2 Comments

  1. Couldn’t you have maybe summed this up in a Powerpoint presentation instead? And what do you define as a “usable” toilet? That statistic doesn’t seem quite right to me, but I guess you said it pretty confidently, so I believe you. I give this review an A+ out of 5.
    Ben Strauss’s Review Reviews

  2. This review is no review at all. It goes off on unpredictable tangents, comprising naught but basic plot summary and unrelated facts while avoiding meaningful criticism, commentary, and analysis entirely. On a scale from 1 to suck, I give it a suck plus.

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