Because you can't find it anywhere else

Crossing the Line

There’s a fine line between appreciating Mary Worth “ironically”, and just appreciating Mary Worth. Recently, i realized I had crossed this line. There was a time when I liked reading Mary Worth because it was ridiculous. Mary was being stalked by a Captain Kangaroo lookalike, and to put a stop to it, she had an intervention for him with all of her friends. Then he drove off a cliff. It was ridiculously awesome.

I have to admit, it was the Aldo Kelrast storyline that made me start reading Mary Worth in the first place. For a long time, I didn’t read Mary Worth. It was the only comic strip in the newspaper I didn’t read. I even read freakin’ B.C. and crap like that. Mary Worth must be the most boring thing ever, i thought. Little did I know, there were ridiculous characters like Aldo and Dr. Chinbeard and My Very Own Meth Lab Tommy. Now, I don’t mean to say that I don’t appreciate Mary Worth in this way anymore. It’s just that there’s something else…

From an “ironic” perspective, Mary Worth has been relatively boring lately. It’s all boring relationship stuff and nothing funny has been going on. Well, except for Dr. Whitepants’ little winking-while-actually-saying-“Wink!” move. That was pretty funny. Still, for the most part it’s been relatively dull. And yet I keep reading it. Then, the other day, when I saw that Dr. Drew “the Younger” Cory was going out on a date with Vera “Curses Upon You, Von” Shields, even though he was already in a relationship with Dawn “I’m Twenty but Look Forty and Dress Four” Weston, I was actually sort of angry with him. That’s when I realized I had crossed the line, and I was appreciating Mary Worth the way it was actually intended.

I’m not sure how I should feel about this. I kind of feel like my grandmother. She always loved to read the serial comic strips, like Mary Worth and Apartment 3G (at least I’m not that far gone yet). Still, I’m pretty sure this condition only pertains to Mary Worth for me. Like, I really couldn’t give a crap about Judge Parker. It’s so boring. Still, I’m gonna keep reading Mary Worth. As far as I’m concerned, this isn’t really a problem.

PS. Unrelated Side Note: As I wrote this, I was listening to, The Wave, and the DJ introduced one of the songs as a song to which “you shouldn’t have any problems remembering the chorus.” The song was called, I kid you not, “Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.”

Don't click on these


  1. ahahahahahahaha. I’m not sure if I’ve crossed that line yet. still, I always appreciate articles about Mary Worth. the more, the better. this was really funny.

  2. Did you see that survey thing that came with the Sunday comics once? It had a checkbox for each of the comics and you checked each one you actually read. Later, some comics were shifted out and some new ones took their place, but those freaking drama comics were still there! WHO READS THEM? SHOW YOURSELVES TO ME!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Latest podcast

Listen in your app